More Monday Madness

Well, I just got some of that cooking finished. Chicken and baked potatoes, as well as a frozen pizza to hold myself over until later. I know that's kind of cheating, but it's still food that we have and has to be eaten, and hopefully it will help make up for some lost ground. I'm sure Sami will appreciate my effort later, and I'll probably do some vegetables for her so that she can stick to her diet plan. I just made up a progress spreadsheet too, so we can track our efforts. I'm really not one to micromanage with weight though, I think it's more discouraging than anything. Weekly weigh-ins are probably best because of fluctuations and all.

It was unusually warm today in comparison to recent weather. It was quite pleasing, even though I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have. At the least, the windows are open now, and the heat is off. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

I find myself trying to reconcile my "guilt". Yesterday was kind of a bad day in that respect, because I was invited over to my mom's house to watch the football game with her boyfriend. I didn't go, and even though I had a pretty legitimate reason (mass hangover, shopping, lunch), I still felt a little bad about it. Then it was my grandma's birthday, yet I didn't call her. I don't have her number, but it would have only taken a small effort to uncover it. Then my sister texted me as well, because it was the "anniversary" of my father's birthday. I'm pretty sure he would have been (46?). The anniversary of his death was earlier this month, it's been seven years. But I digress. Plainly put, I'm not the type to make excuses.

I hope my sister doesn't think I've been blatantly ignoring her. I mean, we've had our ups and downs, but she is still blood. I want us to at least be able to act politely while in each others company. And really I don't take a lot of time to talk to anyone anymore, text or otherwise. It's not necessarily something I'm proud of, but it is the truth. One of the quotes I'm most fond of is: "To thine own self be true." Many good quotes are common sense in practice.

Sometimes I really hate the ability of my memory, or at least I think that's how I mean to describe this sensation. I want to hang on to thoughts of sweet moments in my life, but sometimes they seem to happen at inopportune times, when I can't give them the full attention they deserve. This is something that truly irks me, because I need these small thoughts in my head as reminders. I'm not sure what I need to be reminded of, but they are nice intangible talismans when things become difficult. Sometimes when this event happens, in retrospect, I can only remember getting the sense that someone was being really kind, like maybe they said something that would put a smile on my face. However, if it was a conversation, I can't seem to grasp the words. If this doesn't make any sense at all, and I sound like a crazy person, do not be alarmed. I'm no danger to myself or anyone else. Besides, that's the best I've probably ever described that feeling, and many times my attempts to do just that end up in exasperation and giving up.

I want to set a solid goal for my reading habits. I mean, the overall goal is to read all the books in my shelf, but I feel like I should set a date or something. I've even been contemplating breaking it up into more manageable portions, like by shelf or something. You have to do what works for ya.

I think I'm off for now, to play some 360. Need For Speed Shift has been a really entertaining game thus far, I'm glad I got it, even though it is a real challenge. I think I'm much better with dealing with frustration than in years past. Glad to see that's improved, even though I have always viewed myself as a patient person.